10 Things To Do When Your Boss Has A Mental Breakdown

 

So one of my bestest friend’s boss had a mental breakdown…really.  He did.  Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  His nickname is Turdman if that gives you an idea.  My friend and I have been exchanging ideas about the right way to handle this.  Here are some ideas:

1) Move all of the furniture out of his office, leaving only his personal belongings in a pile in the middle of his office floor.

2) Glue said belongings to said floor.

3) Leave a large chart on his wall showing the office pool with the dates each employee selected for the day the boss would be institutionalized. Have big congratulations notes written all over it for the winner.

4) Relocate the entire operation and don’t give him the new address.  Leave him a note for when he comes back saying you’ll be back, please wait.

5) Take notes on every conversation, phone call (including wrong numbers), email (including spam), question, employee movement (including bathroom breaks) and written item that comes in during his absence, record each on a sticky note and cover his car with them.

6) Replace his anti-psychotic pills with psychotic pills…something like LSD.

7) Call him while he’s “resting and recovering at home” and say there’s an emergency but you’ll guess you’ll just have to make the big decision since he wigged out and then hang up.

8) Send him at get well soon card but point out that everyone simply refused to sign it.

9) Write a memorandum to the corporate CEO saying how incredibly high both morale and productivity have been since your boss finally lost his shit and accidentally include a copy inside the get well soon card.

10) Get a recording of “They’re Coming To Take Me Away” and pipe it into his house.

 

 

6 responses to this post.

  1. I have had one and a half bosses have nervous breakdowns around me.

    While the breakdowns themselves were fun, having co-workers after one of them tell me (every time something went wrong) that they would throw themselves off a bridge(quoting one of the breakdowners) was just a gift that kept on giving…

    Reply

  2. I think that you should remove everything from the office and replace it with to scale replicas made from brownies…or spam…or mashed potatoes…or perhaps a combination of all three.

    Reply

  3. Hahaha, you are hilarious! And these things will all work. I know. When I had my mental breakdown, my coworkers went to a lot of trouble and expense to work through this list, even though you hadn’t written it yet.

    You know, I just hit my head on the refrigerator (true story, can’t tell you how), and I’m really not sure if I’m okay. Or maybe the world is spinning out of orbit. I’d like to get off now.

    Reply

  4. I wish someone would do just one of these oh so fabulous suggestions. Just. One. Person. *sigh*

    Reply

  5. Never had a boss go nuts. However, I have had bosses I’d like to do those things to regardless of breakdown status.

    Reply

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